Could I Create Scripture??? Pt. 2, The Creation of Hartungism

Raëlism is a religion, created by a guy named Rael. Rael claims that extraterrestrials (that we call Elohim) created the world through scientific means and that the Bible is evidence of their creation and influence on the world. In Intelligent Design, Message from the Designers Raël lists the Bible verses that are important, claiming the rest is "merely poetic babblings of which I will say nothing" (11). Well, following Raël's format, I present to you The Book of Hartungism, an adaptation of Raëlism showing that I too, can create scripture by using the same lines from the Book of Genesis that are used by Raël.

Starting from the beginning...

In the beginning Elohim created the heaven and the earth. Genesis 1:1

Similar to Raëlism, I too rely heavily on a Hebrew translation of the name Elohim, meaning "those who came from the sky". However, "those" who came from above are not just any aliens of higher intellegence, but actually members of the Jedi Counsil, who came to Earth from a Galaxy Far, Far Away. They were attempting to create a new civilization sheltered from the perversions of the Dark Side: they believed that the greatest way to bring balance to the force, was to create a society of individuals who were not force sensative, individuals who through their very nature would strive for balance (this balance, is what we now call morality). By not having the force be overtly known to the Earthlings, they hoped to acheive balance. 

And the Spirit of Elohim moved upon the face of the waters. Genesis 1:2

Actually, Raël was pretty close to right here. The Jedi Order did reconnaissance flights to study the Earth in an attempt to find any evidence of medichlorians, in order to establish whether this new world would be capable of acting as host to a world without force sensative indivuduals. 

And Elohim saw the light, that it was good. Genesis 1:4

The "light" found was just good news. The Jedi were pleased, becauase at this point the world showed no sign of holding any force sensative life. 

Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear. Genesis 1:9

After conducting an examination, both physically and through medatation, the Jedi Order decided this planet on the outer reaches of the known galaxy, would be a fine host for their new society. Using their combined powers, they raised the land from the waters in order to create the land and the sea as we know it today.

Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth. Genesis 1:11

This verse is just an account showing the ways that the Jedi continued to transform the Earth into a life sustaining planet. Fruit, grass and seed are just some of the many food and water sources that the Jedi created to help bring life to their new society.

Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens. Genesis 1:20

Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing adn beast of the earth, each according to its kind. Genesis 1:24

The Jedi elders in all their wisdom knew that a key element to sustainable life on this planet, was to create entire ecosystems. They gave those who would later populate their planet (we'll get to that later), a world that in itself, required the type of balance between good and evil that parallels the balance in the force that they were striving to acheive. 

Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over teh cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Genesis 1:26

The Jedi Counsil, as the movies will show you, was made up of creatures that look surprisingly like humans (For example the great Jedi Warrior who died eons before the creation of Earth, Mace Windu, is a doppelganger of beloved actor Sameul L. Jackson). Because most of the greatest Jedi in history were all of the same species as Mace Windu -- Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo, Rey (Skywalker?), etc. -- the Jedi Counsil decided that this species would serve as the image for the inhabitants of their new world. 

Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die... Genesis 2:16-17

The only thing man can not eat, according to the Jedi is the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The knowledge, obviously, is the knowledge of the force and how to weild it. The Jedi believed that should man, who remember were given morality as an intenal balance of good and evil, exist without expressed knowledge of the force, then the world would be able to exist in what many refer to as the "Garden of Eden". 

The serpent ... said unto the women ... of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden... ye shall not surely die, for Elohim doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be like Elohim. Genesis 3: 1-5

Although the Jedi tried to hide the location of their utopia, a member of the Sith found their new civilization and told one man, named George Lucas, about the ways of the force. From this moment on, the world without expressed knowledge of the force was no longer perfect in the eyes of the Jedi Counsil. While the inhabitants of Earth rejoiced in this knowledge, expressed in the creation of the original trilogy, the Jedi Counsil believed that this knowledge would only lead to danger for the inhabitants of their new world. 

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. Genesis 3:7

With the way of the force known to men and women, they began to see the world in a new way. This new look made man more suseptable to being corrupted by the dark side of the force. 

And Yahweb Elohim said unto the serpent, 'Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed ... upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.' Genesis 3:14

The rogue Sith who had corrupted the Jedi's utopa was stuck down by the Jedi (cast out and cursed).

Unto Adam also and to his wife did Yahweh Elohim make coats of skins, and clothed them. Genesis 3:21

So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. Genesis 3:24

After getting rid of the dark Jedi that had corrupted their new world, the Jedi Counsil gave the men and women of Earth methaphorical clothes. This clothing was an attempt by the Jedi Order to squash the Earthlings love of the force, in order to again create the utopia they desired. This clothing was the prequils (Episodes I, II, III). Using Jedi Mind Tricks on George Lucas (who has to be is weak minded), the Jedi Counsil tried to shelter the Earthling's minds from knowledge of the force by making Episodes I, II & III essentially un-watchable. The Jedi punished the Earthlings by casting them out of the Garden of Eden and into a world perverted by the awfulness of the prequels.